Imperishable Beauty

Continuing my “series” on marriage, I finish with the last part of the essay I wrote before my husband and I married, ten years ago…

Redemption for the Marriage As Well As the Soul

After Jesus’ ministry on Earth, many examples became evident for a new way of life. Christ had demonstrated his love for the church and explained how the church was to respond to God and then he compared it to marriage. God inspired many men to explain these to us so that we might know how to have a marriage more like the marriage between the church and God.

Christ called the church his bride, and loved her so much that he sacrificed himself to save her. The husband also is called to love his wife and it may at times be necessary to sacrifice his own needs or desires to fulfill the needs of his wife. For example, this could be as simple as turning off his favorite tv show and comforting his wife because she is upset. This may also mean going to a concert or a play that he really doesn’t care about but that the wife really wants to see. The husband may not ever be called to sacrifice his life for his wife, but it is important that the wife feels loved, secure, comforted, and happy and occasionally a small sacrifice may need to be made to provide that for her. (Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 5:28-29)

Christ also called the husbands to be the head of the wife as he is the head of the church. Christ is the authority that the church places themselves under. He is a “servant leader” where servanthood defines this leadership rather than working against it. (Woman’s Study Bible, p.5) The husband is to be a leader for the wife to follow, at the same time, serving her to meet her needs so they can move forward together in an orderly, Christ-like manner. (Ephesians 5:23-29)

The wife is called to be submissive to her husband as the church is subject to the Lord. This could mean that the wife is responsible to her husband as well as the Lord, since it’s his job to move the family closer to God. If the wife is pulling the family away from God, she may be responsible to the husband for her actions. This doe not alter the fact that she is also responsible to the Lord for her actions, or the fact that the husband is responsible to the Lord for both of their actions. (Genesis 3)

Okay, so the funniest line of this part: “so they can move forward together in an orderly, Christ-like manner.” Yeah, I crack myself up.

I really think this was a rough draft, and that I finished this on the computer. I don’t know if there was more to this or not - this is where the hand-written version ends. If I was writing this now, I’d not only edit a few things, I’d add some more too, it, too. Perhaps that is ten years marriage talking.

Next time, the 30 year old me finishes where the 19 year old me left off.

Image Source: Google Images

Picking up where I left off from last time, let’s see what I wrote about marriage after Eve handed Adam that fruit…

After the Fall

Although the first marriage system was what God had originally intended, He altered the system after Adam and Eve ate of the fruit. God told Eve that her husband would rule over her (Genesis 3:16.) Ruling is much different than leading, and that change in thinking resulted in a big change of lifestyle. Instead of portraying the wife as equal to her husband, it portrays her as inferior to her husband. Also, this new position makes it less likely that a husband and wife would work together towards a common goal, but rather that the husband will make all the decisions and the wife will carry them out. This puts more space between them and they don’t support each other mentally and emotionally anymore. The relationship still works, but it isn’t as close as God originally planned.

Read more…

I found the most amazing thing while going through some junk stuff oh-so-important papers that needed to be filed!

Before getting married (ten years, one month and eight days ago), Big Daddy and I went through some pre-marital counseling with our pastor - complete with the requisite homework of course. While digging through those oh-so-important papers, I found one of those assignments, in which I had to write a paper (more or less - can you believe it?) about God’s design for marriage and submission and authority and what-not.

Tomorrow I’m going to post the essay — or at least part of it, I may stretch it into parts if it proves to long and cumbersome — which it probably will since I often write like I talk.

Longwindedly.

Today I want to show you the diagram and summary that I provided with the essay. Oh yes - I am that thorough. Long winded AND thorough. Great combination.

God’s Plan For Marriage

The husband is responsible for keeping the wife safe and under God, (the directive concerning the forbidden fruit was given to Adam only, Adam was given authority over the animals and Eve, too - therefore it was Adam’s responsibility to see that Eve did not eat the fruit.) Using love, honor, and nourishment combined with praying together, reading the bible together, and attending church together (1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:23-29,) he places their relationship in God’s hands, and by doing so, he can protect her from Satan and his attacks (depression, anger, sin, loneliness, etc.). The wife, in response to the loving care she receives, and in acknowledgment of the husband’s position, should willingly place herself in submission under his authority - if for no other reason than that it is easier for the husband to place her in the shade of “God’s umbrella” if she is not constantly struggling against him. By respecting him and the weight of his responsibility, by loving him, and by placing herself in submission, she helps the husband hold their relationship under the “umbrella” so that they may receive God’s love, protection, mercy, strength, peace, etc. (Ephesians 5:23-29; 1 Peter 3:1-7; Titus 2:1-5; Genesis 2:15-25.)

If the husband fulfills he wife’s needs, she should be willing to place herself in submissions. Submission combined with love and respect fulfills the husband’s needs as well as making it easier for the husband to make decisions that move the family closer to God and down the right paths. Submission does not mean, “subjection to tyranny,” or “mindless acquiescence,” but the “yielding of humble and intelligent obedience” with the understanding that it is the husband’s responsibility to move the family forward in an orderly and Christlike manner.

It’s important to note (as I think I point out in the essay) that sin screws that up in all kinds of ways. But God’s plan and our sinful mucky attempts to follow his plan are two different things. Sometimes we get close, sometimes we miss all together. It’s important that we strive for that goal.

I’m sure that there are probably some things in here that true “learned scholars” would find fault with - Hey! I was 19! And I KNOW there is plenty here for other people to find fault with - Submission is a hot button for a lot of people.

But you know what? I fully believe what I said in there. Still do. “Submission does not mean, ’subjection to tyranny,’ or ‘mindless acquiescence,’ but the ‘yielding of humble and intelligent obedience’ with the understanding that it is the husband’s responsibility to move the family forward in an orderly and Christlike manner.”

Even after ten years, one month, and eight days.